There has been a lot of recent buzz around the idea of the “Growth Mindset” from Carol S. Dweck. A piece of the “Growth Mindset” is developing in inner monologue of “I can”. Which ends up being how to tame the invading negative thoughts. This post is dedicated to developing the “I can” in school-age kids.
General
Improving Achievement Through Self-Talk – Trish Spencer
Five Key Points
In What Students Say to Themselves: Internal Dialogue and School Success (Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press, 2000), William Watson Purkey suggests the following five points to keep in mind as you try to shape students’ self-talk:
- What significant people think about students and how they act toward students influences how students define themselves.
- How students define themselves in their internal dialogue influences their academic success and failure.
- Everything the school does and the way things are done influences what students say to themselves.
- Altering how students define themselves involves altering the total school environment.
- The task of the school is to structure experiences that reduce crippling self-talk while inviting students to define themselves in essentially positive and realistic ways. (p. 77)
Research of Positive Self Talk
Coping Thoughts
Stop, and breathe, I can do this
This will pass
I can be anxious/angry/sad and still deal with this
I have done this before, and I can do it again
This feels bad, it’s a normal body reaction – it will pass
This feels bad, and feelings are very often wrong
These are just feelings, they will go away
This won’t last forever
Short-term pain for long-term gain
I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction
I don’t need to rush, I can take things slowly
I have survived before, I will survive now
I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now
It’s okay to feel this way, it’s a normal reaction
Right now, I am not in danger. Right now, I’m safe
My mind is not always my friend
Thoughts are just thoughts – they’re not necessarily true or factual
This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary
I can use my coping skills and get through this
I can learn from this and it will be easier next time
Specific Strategies
Help your learner see the positive by Reframing their Thoughts in a positive light.
STOP Plan
Developing and Using Cognitive Coping Cards
Example of Coping Card-
My Coping Card to Beat Anxiety!
1. Anxiety is not dangerous. It can’t hurt me! It’s just a bully!
2. I can boss back my anxiety. I have done it before!
3. If my heart is racing, I get sweaty, and my tummy hurts. That means that my anxiety
is acting up. I’m not in danger.
4. I could do some relaxation now.
My Coping Card to Beat Anxiety!
1. My face is getting hot and my head is getting dizzy! My anxiety is acting up again!
2. Maybe I need to use the STOP plan now! *
3. If I’m feeling anxious, I could do some calm breathing to calm down.
4. I have lots of friends at school, and they like me even when I get anxious. They told
me so.