Relational Aggression 


Developing friendships and maintaining healthy play is a cornerstone to a child’s education. Within the school is a safe place to practice and try out friendships and try different types of play. It is our job as parents and teachers to take advantage of the opportunities that come with peer conflict to provide the child/ children with an teachable moment. Here are some resources to support that effort.

Relational Aggression

Relational aggression (RA) is a nonphysical form of aggression whereby the perpetrator’s goal is to inflict or threaten damage to relationships, including harm to the target child’s social standing or reputation. This form of aggression may result in long-term psychological harm to victims. Source


Dealing with Relational Aggression and Children: A Guide for Parents

Research Article It’s mean boys, not mean girls, who rule at school, study shows

Education Article Study: Boys, Not Just ‘Mean Girls,’ Use Relational Aggression

Little Bullies: Relational Aggression on the Playground

Resources From The Ophelia Project

Practical Strategies for Teachers- 5 STEPS for Teachers


Boys Relational Aggression Curriculum


Girls Relational Aggression Curriculum


Other Resources


Understanding Playful vs. Hurtful Teasing and Bullying Behavior


I Didn’t Know I Was a Bully (Grades K-5) Paperback – 2006

Tease Monster: A Book About Teasing Vs. Bullying (Building Relationships) Paperback –  by Julia Cook

Relational Aggression in Young Adults: Relational Aggression in Peer and Dating Relationships, Gender Difference, Attribution Bias, Emotional Distress Paperback by Violet Lim

The author Trudy Ludwig Bullying books.

Boys and feelings 

Wanting to be a good father, I try to keep my awareness about my kids’ feelings in the forefront of my thoughts. My son had a tantrum the other day and we started talking about how he felt to work through why he was upset. Afterward I started thinking about different experiences I had growing up with feelings. How I might have benefited more from a better coping skills in difficult situations with a more indepth understanding of feelings and what to do when adversity strikes.

Quote by: Malcolm Knowles

Here is a good Washington Post article: Here’s how (and why) to help boys feel all the feels.

The Harvard University Gazette article: Boys Struggle to be Boys

The Fuller Youth Institute article: Feelings not Allowed

Coping skills for managing emotions: Kids Matter Coping Skills
Boys Town: 99 coping strategies