Use the 5 Love Languages to Better Understand and Connect with your Kid(s)

We all want to connect with our children on a deeper level. Understanding the needs and wants of our kids is a short cut to connecting. The 5 Love Languages is a tool to elicit what best translates to love for that individual. Using the short activity questionnaire (below) you can easily do (in a half hour) with your kids to find out a little more about how they tic.

5 Love Languages
A) Words of affirmation – These are the ways you express your gratitude, and even your
needs to someone else in a positive manner, such as: “I appreciate your help running
skit lines when I was sick;” “I really appreciate you doing such a good job with your
small groups.”
• Verbal compliments – “Your enthusiasm in the mornings at orientation has
been excellent;” “Thank you for answering my questions about Mason. I’m really
excited about coming here in the Fall;” “I’m sure your small group members
really love you.”
• Encouraging words – “I know you’ll do great;” “You’ve got great potential;”
“Keep it up”
• Kind words – Said in a kind and gentle tone of voice: “I care about you;” “I hope
we can learn from this experience;” “You’re not a failure just because you failed;”
“I know you can”
• Humble words – Making requests, not demands: “I really liked it when you
were on time for PL training, do you think you can do it again;” “Do you think it
would be possible to swap duties farther in advance next time;” “I’d really like it
if we could talk about this and find a solution.”
B) Quality Time – Time spent with another person with your undivided attention focused
on them. This can happen in groups, but it is a little more difficult. Togetherness
(focused attention) and Quality Conversation (focused not on what you’re saying, but
what you’re hearing) are 2 types of Quality Time.
• Sitting around and talking (TV off) – Maintain eye contact; don’t listen and do
something else at the same time; listen for feelings; observe body language;
refuse to interrupt
• Taking a walk or going somewhere together
• Playing games
• Doing something you mutually enjoy
C) Receiving Gifts – A gift is any tangible item that reminds you that someone was
thinking of you when they gave it to you. These gifts don’t have to cost any money or
take a lot of time to create. They just have to show thoughtfulness and remind them that
you care.
• A handmade or store-bought card
• Candy
• Flowers
• Snack or a meal
D) Acts of Service – This is a way of expressing love or care for someone by serving them,
doing something for them, or helping them to accomplish a task without expecting
anything in return. Sometimes, actions can speak much louder than words.
• Bringing someone coffee
• Cleaning up a mess
• Putting up someone else’s posters
• Volunteering when someone is asking for help or input

Book

The link below is to Gary Chapman’s Book on the 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages of Children: (PDF) Secret of how to Love Children. (Book 317pages)

Parent Quiz

LOVE LANGUAGES MYSTERY GAME-This is the activity to discover your child’s love language.

Source

Talking to students about the Insurrection at the US Capitol (Teacher and Administrator Resources)

In considering the events on January 6th 2021 we must help our students process this to better understand what occurred.

Read

RESPONDING TO THE INSURRECTION AT THE US CAPITOL

RESOURCES FOR TEACHERS ON THE DAYS AFTER THE ATTACK ON THE U.S. CAPITOL.

Teaching in a Time of Crisis

Talking to Kids About the Attack on the Capitol NEA

NASP Statement on the Assault on the U.S. Capitol NASP

NASP Guidance for Ensuring Student Well-Being in the Context of the 2020 Election NASP

Teaching Resources to Help Students Make Sense of the Rampage at the Capitol New York Times

Dozens of lesson plan ideas, activities and Times materials for exploring the causes and consequences of this assault on democracy in the United States.

Resource Guide

Resources for School Communities in Times of Crisis – Great resources on a Google Doc


Navigation
Self Care Resources for EveryoneTeachers: Curricular Resources & Lesson PlansTeachers: Navigating Conversations, Addressing Difficult Topics, and Coping with Trauma
Leaders: Leadership, Teams, & CultureLeaders: Providing SupportStudents: Activities to Process EmotionsFor Families & Communities
Above is the Navigation of the various areas of the Resource Guide.

Streaming Event

PBS NewsHour Extra@NewsHourExtra·Teachers & school staff: TONIGHT at 7pm ET (4pm PT) w/ @YohuruWilliams@kennethcdavis@saribethrose RSVP: http://bit.ly/zoom1-7 Talk w/ other educators on how to process the #insurrection w/ students & support one another. #sschat#apgov#hsgovchat#USCapitol#CapitolRiots

Consider this when talking with students-

@misskatiesings

Abbreviated version — full vid & discussion prompts on IG @misskatiesings 🧡 // #fyp #preschool #parentsoftiktok #teachersof2020 #kids

♬ original sound – Miss Katie Sings

Organize your talk using these themes below-

Sigal Ben-Porath, an expert in civic education at the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education and fellow at the Center for Ethics at Harvard, says teachers should not ignore yesterday’s historic events.  

But they have to be prepared for the conversation. Ben-Porath suggests starting with these areas of focus:  

  • The facts about the democratic process: according to grade and knowledge levels, discussing the roles of voters, electors, the courts, state legislative bodies, and Congress. The older the kids are, the more detailed the conversation can be, and more opportunities for independent research should be offered. 
  • The events that happened yesterday. Look at diverse and reliable news sources, and apply critical digital literacy skills to social media posts that come from unverified sources. Focus on local news and on public media (such as NPR) to support a habit of consuming reliable news.
  • Discuss the reality of living in historic moments. This can be compared to the lives of people in other crucial moments for democracy. Students can talk about where they were, what they did, what others who were nearby might have felt, etc. 

Teachers holding class online because of the pandemic will also have to think about how the platform might have to change the conversation. The country is clearly polarized. In an online setting, parents can potentially hear the discussion. Students might feel uncomfortable engaging if they know their parents, or many of their classmates’ parents, would hear them disagreeing with the parents’ beliefs.

The goal: finding ways to develop together true knowledge about the events. What happened, and why it matters, are the key questions. 

The process has to include the students, so that they create this knowledge together. The only way to overcome our current polarization is by learning to share the facts, to have a shared understanding of reality. The source of a lot of this chaos is the rift in the facts we have (who won the election, what body has what constitutional role, etc). If students can learn to rely on each other, on their teachers, and on reliable sources, to understand events around them, we can start building the path back to democracy. 

Source

NASP developed election resources to assist adults helping youth navigate feelings of uncertainty and strong emotions, understand hate-based violence, and cope with cope with threatening actions or speech.

Parents: http://bit.ly/39ntkKL

Educators: http://bit.ly/35gN2pU

Class Activities

Breaking down with Incident with 3 prompts to reflect the students HEAD, HEART, and CONSCIENCE.

Holding a Community Circle for your class could help the discussion process.  

Community Circle Guidelines– Gives the concept of Community Circles and procedures.

Community Circle Flow for “Breaking News” for 3rd-6th Grade Students 

Read Aloud by author/illustrator Sarah Lynn Reul https://youtu.be/V-U3lF5Ei_E 

Opening Quote“I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect with another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s from the heart.” –Rachel Naomi Remen
Round 1Let’s do a check-in. Are you mad, sad, glad, and/or afraid today? What is that mostly about? 
Yesterday was a BREAKING NEWS day in the United States. When reflecting on what happened at the United States Capitol as Congress was working to verify the election…
Round 2 I am going to put on on some calm music for one minute, while you take that time to draw a picture of how you are feeling right: mad, sad, glad, afraid. We will take time for everyone to share their drawing. 
Round 3 It’s okay to disagree with others, but what would it look like, sound like, or feel like to have a peaceful disagreement? 
Round 4 Do you think that YOU need to be a better listener? Why or why not? 
Round 5  Is there anything else you want to add to the circle about yesterday’s events that we did not talk about? 
Close the CircleLet’s take a couple of minutes to close our circle with a mindful breathing activity. (Choose your classes favorite breathing strategy-Box breathing, Figure 8, Breath in-Breath-Out). 

Community Circle Flow for  January 7, 2021 for Middle School and High School

Opening QuoteRead the poem, “Let American Be American Again” by Langston Hughes https://poets.org/poem/let-america-be-america-again
Round 1As you listened to Mr. Hughes’ poem were you mad, sad, glad, or afraid? What is that mostly about? 
When reflecting on what happened at the United States Capitol as Congress was working to verify the election…
Round 2 What surprised you about yesterday? 
Round 3 What has changed or challenged your thinking? 
Round 4  How do we reject violence in our daily lives?
Round 5 What can you do to make a non-violent difference in Your Life, Your School, Your World?
Close the Circle Is there anything else you want to add to the circle about yesterday’s events that we did not talk about? 

Slide – Source

Fire Hits the Santa Cruz Community Hard. Natural Disaster Resources for Schools

Our Central Coast has been hit with major fires. Many families have been displaced and are in crisis. The California Association of School Psychologist has published a variety of resources to support our families.

Resources for Natural Disasters

CASP would like to extend our thoughts and support for the victims of the state’s most recent wildfires. Below are resources from the National Association of School Psychologists and a video of a presentation made at CASP’s Spring Institute held by Santa Rosa Schools Assistant Superintendent Stephen Mizera, Principal Ed Navarro, School Counselor Robin Wilkins, Restorative Specialist Briana Seely-Clark and School Psychologists Angela Bonner and Matthew Park. We hope this information may help as schools and communities come back together to rebuild.

OPENING SCHOOLS WITH SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING IN MIND

Our students more than ever need us to recognize that they need their SEL needs met differently in this time of the pandemic. I ran across a beautifully thoughtful re-entry plan written by CHAI Lifeline. I hope you can put it to positive use in your school. Link

Here are the topics it covers:

Link: SEL checklist for returning to school by CHAI Lifeline

A Kid’s Guide to Coronavirus via American Psychological Association (APA)

https://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/kids-guide-coronavirus-ebook.pdf

The APA posted this children’s book about COVID 19.

A Kid’s Guide to Coronavirus (PDF)

By

Rebecca Growe, MSW, LCSW and Julia Martin Burch, PhD illustrated by Viviana Garofoli

Magination Press • Washington, DC American Psychological Association

You probably already know a lot about different ways to be sick. You may know about colds, when you cough and sneeze a lot. You may know about strep throat, when it hurts to swallow, or ear infections, when your ear hurts inside.

What other ways to be sick do you know about?

Most sicknesses have been around for a long time. Scientists and doctors and all the grown-up helpers know just what to do to make people get better.

Can you think of some things that help people when they are sick?

This book is about a certain sickness. It’s called COVID-19, or coronavirus.

Have you heard of it?

Grown-ups have been talking about it a lot. You may have heard about it on TV or online.

What do you know about it already?

A lot of kids have questions about coronavirus. And without getting good answers, they might feel confused or even scared.

This book will help answer those questions!

This coronavirus is a new sickness. Grown-ups don’t know as much about it as they’d like. But here is what they do know:

Coronavirus is contagious. That means it can get people sick by moving from one person’s body to another person’s body when they touch or spend time close together. Coronavirus can move from you to someone else before you even start to feel sick.

Many people who get sick with coronavirus have a fever, a dry cough, and a little trouble breathing.

Anyone can get sick from coronavirus. It can cause big problems for older people or people who have other health issues.

Because coronavirus is such a new sickness, doctors and scientists are working really hard to learn how to help people get better and make coronavirus go away.

In fact, everyone can help out! You can do a lot to stop coronavirus from making people sick.

Can you think of any things you already do to make a difference?

You can wash your hands often with soap and water. Some people sing the ABCs while they do it—what about you?

You can also cover your coughs and sneezes with your elbow or a tissue and try not to touch your face a lot.

You can find fun ways to help, too.

Maybe you could paint a picture for your friend, or make a movie of your new dance moves to give Grandma a giggle.

You could write funny jokes on the sidewalk for your neighbors to see, or hang a sign in your window to brighten someone’s day.

Until scientists have found out how to make coronavirus go away for good, you and your family might have to make some other, bigger changes.

You might need to stay away from crowded places. This is because crowds make it easy for coronavirus to spread to more people and make them sick.

For the same reason, your parents might not work as much, or they might try to work from home. You might not be able to go to school or play with friends.

You might see people wear masks when they go outside. You might even get one of your own.

Super-heroes wear masks to protect their secret identities, right?

Now super-people everywhere are wearing masks to protect each other from coronavirus. Feel free to wear a cape, too!

These bigger changes can be hard.

What do you think some hard parts might be?

These bigger changes can be kind of nice.

What do you think some nice parts might be?

You should know that these bigger changes are temporary. That means they will not last forever.

Other things are staying exactly the same! Your grown-ups are still in charge of taking care of you. And it is still your job to be a kid, which means you still need to learn, play, and spend time with family.

What else is staying the same?

And if you ever have questions, or want to talk, your grown-ups are here to help you and to listen.

No sickness can ever change that!

The coronavirus pandemic can be frightening and confusing for children and adults alike. As a parent or caregiver, you have the challenging task of navigating and managing your own emotions and needs during the crisis while also supporting your child. The following tips offer information and concrete strategies that you can start using right away with your child and on your own.

Provide Just Enough Information

It is natural for children to be curious about

the new kind of illness they keep hearing adults discuss. Provide your young child with limited, age-appropriate facts about the virus. Focus on what they can do to keep themselves, their families, and their communities safe.

The information covered in this book is an appropriate example of how to talk with young children about the virus. Listen respectfully to their concerns and reassure them without being dismissive. Help them focus on what is in their control, such as social distancing and hand hygiene. Emphasize that it’s important they still do their “jobs” as a kid, including learning, playing, and spending time with family.

It is important to try to strike a balance between oversharing information, which may lead kids to worry about facets of the crisis they do not need to be concerned about, such as the economy, and under-sharing. Though parents sometimes withhold information from kids with the noble intention of wanting to spare them distress, too little information can send active

imaginations into overdrive, leading kids to concoct far scarier outcomes than what’s realistic.

Validate and Name Emotions

It is normal for children to have a range of emotions in response to the pandemic. Some children might feel anxious about the unknown and fearful about their safety. Others will feel sad or angry about canceled events like a vacation, or about losing their normal routine and time with teachers and friends. No matter the emotion, it is important to validate it, or in other words, to communicate to your child that their emotion makes sense and is okay for them to feel. For example, you might say, “It makes sense that you are feeling disappointed about missing your class field trip. You were really looking forward to it.” Or, “I can understand why you’re feeling worried. There are a lot of changes happening right now.” It is also helpful to specifically label the emotion your child is feeling; research demonstrates that naming an emotion decreases its intensity. In a difficult moment, taking the time to say, “I see that you are really sad” can be incredibly soothing to your child.

Parents sometimes try to make their children feel better by pointing out that the child has many privileges, and that other people are suffering more. For example, a parent might say, “Don’t feel sad about missing vacation! We’re lucky to have somewhere to live. Other kids aren’t that lucky.” Despite the good intentions, this is not a helpful approach, as it confuses children about why they are feeling what they are feeling. It can also lead them to feel ashamed for feeling sad about missing vacation. If you would like to teach your child to reflect on what they have to be grateful for, make a family practice of writing down “gratitudes” or discussing what you are each thankful for over dinner. By doing this when your child is calm rather than feeling sad or fearful, you teach them that their “gratitudes” are things to feel uncomplicated joy about, rather than guilt or confusion.

Focus on the Present Moment

Worried brains tend to focus on the future, predicting all of the scary things that might happen. Teach your child how to gently bring their mind back to the present moment by practicing mindfulness. Being mindful simply means that you are purposefully paying attention to the present moment without judging it as good or bad. Mindfulness can be practiced in countless kid-friendly ways. For example, you can play a mindful “I spy” in which you count all of the objects of a certain color in the space around you. You can mindfully eat, dance, walk, listen to music – the sky is the limit! Build times into the day to practice, such as in transition periods or at meals.

Create a New Routine

It can feel next to impossible to maintain a routine during the quarantine. Yet, flexibly following a consistent plan day-to-day provides much-needed stability for your young child. This is particularly important given that their world has changed dramatically in a short time. Routines do not have to be complicated. For example, it can be helpful to just structure the day around basic needs such as wake-up times and bedtimes, meals, and periods in which you get active. Constructing a routine around these building blocks of physical and mental health makes it more likely that they will occur consistently.

Consider giving your child age-appropriate tasks to help the family, such as setting the table, helping to prepare food, or cleaning up after a meal. Though teaching your child a new skill takes more effort and attention in the short term, it will make your life easier (and increase your child’s level of independence and sense of competence) in the long term.

Create Memories

Look for opportunities to create new, special family rituals. These do not have to be time consuming or involve preparation. For example, you can jump-start your days with a family dance party in which a different family member chooses a song each day and everyone dances around the breakfast table. You might also help your children brainstorm ways that they can give back to their community, such as writing cards for the elderly or creating supportive signs for health-care workers. When your children look back on this time, they will remember that, despite the many challenges, the time at home also allowed your family to create memories together.

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First

Whenever you can, pause and take a moment or two to check in on yourself and your emotions.

Just like your child, you will reduce your own emotional intensity by noticing and labeling your feelings. During a crisis, this kind of self-attention can feel like the last thing a busy parent or caregiver has time for. However, by ensuring that you are attuned to and taking care of your own needs, you will have reserves available to help support your children during difficult moments. You will be grateful that you preemptively invested the time in yourself when you must draw on these reserves to help a struggling child.

Make a point to practice what you preach with your children. Focus on what is in your control, such as practicing and modeling coping skills, limiting news consumption, and creating your own new routines around sleep, nutrition, and exercise. Most important–validate and be gentle with yourself. It is impossible to perfectly fulfill all of the roles you are being asked to play in this moment in time. Get comfortable with being good enough. This may look like allowing your children more time on screens than you would normally, cooking (or just heating up!) very basic meals, or practicing a coping strategy for two minutes while hiding in the bathroom.

When to Seek Help

If your child is experiencing so much anxiety or sadness about COVID-19 that it causes significant distress or begins to impact their functioning (e.g., consistent trouble sleeping, eating, or engaging in typical life activities), you should consult with a licensed psychologist or other mental health professional. There is no need to wait until social distancing restrictions are lifted. During the current crisis, many mental health providers are offering therapy over virtual meeting platforms. The COVID-19 pandemic has created unprecedented challenges for children and adults alike. Yet within great challenges lie opportunities for growth, bravery, and resilience. You are taking a concrete, effective step forward simply by taking the time to read this book and reflect on how to help your child. Remind yourself of this whenever the “not good enough” monster strikes. You are doing the best you can, and that is enough.

Rebecca Growe, MSW, LCSW, is a clinical social worker with a private practice. She specializes in treating child and adolescent anxiety disorders, disruptive behavior, and traumatic stress. She lives in St. Louis, Missouri.

Visit http://www.growecounseling.com

Viviana Garofoli earned her degree in fine arts in 1995, and since then has dedicated her time to illustrating children’s books. She has illustrated over 20 children’s books and contributed to many editorial and textbook illustrations around the world. She lives in Buenos Aires.

@vivi_garofoli

Julia Martin Burch, PhD, is a staff psychologist at the McLean Anxiety Mastery Program at McLean Hospital in Boston. Dr. Martin Burch completed her training at Fairleigh Dickinson University and Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Medical School. She works with children, teens, and parents and specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy

for anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and related disorders. Outside of her work at McLean, Dr. Martin Burch gives talks to clinicians, parent groups, and schools on working with anxious youth.

Magination Press is the children’s book imprint of the American Psychological Association. APA works to advance psychology as a science and profession and as a means of promoting health and human welfare. Magination Press books reach young readers and their parents and caregivers to make navigating life’s challenges a little easier. It’s the combined power of psychology and literature that makes a Magination Press book special.

Visit maginationpress.org @MaginationPress

Copyright © 2020 by Magination Press, an imprint of the American Psychological Association. Illustrations © 2020 by Viviana Garofoli. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system,

without the prior written permission of the publisher. Permission is granted to download and print or reproduce for personal, educational, and non-commercial use only.

Magination Press is a registered trademark of the American Psychological Association. Order books at maginationpress.org or call 1-800-374-2721.

Book design by Rachel Ross

eISBN: 978-1-4338-3415-8

Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup By Katrina Michie and NASP statement on Ending Racism

Obviously with the riots and unrest in the United States, parents should take the opportunity to speak with their kids about race. Here are some resources to start that conversation Right now.

Below is a statement from the National Association of School Psychologists on a call for action to end racism.NASP STATEMENT

Resource Roundup-

Written By Katrina Michie

Source from Pretty Good

So you’ve realized your kids aren’t too young to talk about race, so now what? We’ve rounded up some resources for you to start.

I found this short podcast put together by NPR and the Sesame Street Workshop to be a great one for a primer and understanding on how to talk to young children about race:

Talking Race With Young Children (Podcast Episode)

The Children’s Community School in Philidelphia did all the research and legwork on this information. We adapted it. Check out their amazing resource page here:

http://www.childrenscommunityschool.org/social-justice-resources/?fbclid=IwAR37PWDJSNV3HiG5Rp9sgezRAW80UtggMrCfntubK6euibscUgsw4607fAQ

More Articles and Tips for Parents and Caregivers:

Anti-Racism For Kids 101: Starting To Talk About Race

Here’s How W. Kamau Bell Talks About Race With His Kids

100 Race-Conscious things you can say to your child to advance racial justice

Article on Raising Race-Conscious Children

4 Things We Should All Teach Kids About Racism Right Now

Great Educational Podcast for Adults on the History of Race in America

Seeing White Series on Scene On Radio

For Teachers & Educators:

Teaching Tolerance: Race & Ethnicity

Books for Adults:

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Books for Children

The Ultimate 2018 List of Diverse Books For Children (Here Wee Read is a great resource for books! Follow her Instagram!)

No White Saviors: Kids Books About Black Women in US History (Books For Littles)

Children’s Books By Brilliant Black Women: #OwnVoices Authors & Illustrators (Books for Littles)

A few more:

Whose Toes Are Those? by Jabari Asim

Let’s Talk About Race by Julius Lester

Lovely by Jess Hong

Sugarplum Ballerinas by Whoopi Goldberg

Toys:

People Colors Crayon Pack

Sugarfoot Rag Dolls

Pattycake Doll Company

A roundup of Studies and Articles cited in the Infographic above:

Three-month-olds, but not newborns, prefer own-race faces

Handbook of Race, Racism and the Developing Child

Developmental Psychopathology: Perspectives on Adjustment, Risk, and Disorder

The development of implicit intergroup cognition

How Kids Learn Prejudice

Even Babies Discriminate: A Natureshock ExcerptKatrina Michie

COVID-19 Resources for Parents of Children with Intellectual or Other Developmental Disabilities – From The STRYDD Center

Overview PDF

A Guide For Families with A Child with An Intellectual and/orDevelopmental Disability During the Covid-19 Pandemic
From The STRYDD Center–Supporting Trauma Recovery for Youth with Developmental Disabilities
Long Island Jewish Medical Center, Northwell Health System
April, 2020
To support your child who has special needs during this time:
1. Help your child understand the changes that are happening. Give your child opportunities to express concerns. Children’s understanding of the challenges we are all experiencing and the changes to their routine will vary depending on their age, developmental status, and special needs issues. Younger children may have worries based on concrete reasoning and beliefs. Young children have a tendency to be “egocentric” in the sense of overestimating the child’s own role in “causing” events. For example, a 6-year-old wondered whether her having had a non-coronavirus illness was why no one could go to her school. An older child may develop misunderstandings based on “all-or-nothing” thinking, such a boy’s belief that because of his (mild) asthma if infected with COVID-19 he would certainly die. Sometimes teens with cognitive delays pass misunderstandings back and forth within their peer group (even if they are only communicating remotely). At all ages, children may have some misunderstandings that need clarifying. We will provide resources available at various developmental levels to explain and reinforce understanding of current changes.
Some general principles:
 Give your child an opportunity to express feelings, ask questions, and voice concerns.
 Some children may not use words to express concerns, but their play or drawings may provide strong clues, such as when a child starts acting out stories about people being sick when the child had not been doing this previously. For some children, expression of concerns is less direct but will be shown in behavior changes (as discussed further below).
 In addressing concerns, choose a time and place that works for you and your child. If you can, address simple questions when your child brings them up, but it is ok to let the child know you will talk further later. For some children, having a regular time and place will help them develop awareness of thoughts and feelings that they may not think of otherwise. For these children, a visual calendar may help keep this routine as well as reduce anxieties about what comes next in the day or week. (See below re: routines.)
 Give accurate information, but at your child’s level of understanding. Use concrete language for young children, those with cognitive delays, and those with difficulty with abstract language. When possible, do this in a conversation that allows you to check what your child has understood and follow up over time.
 Be honest. It is ok to let your child know when you do not have answers (such as, when school will open). Share that you will let your child know when you find out.
 For some children, visual support such as a simple social story can be helpful. Also, consider using resources developed in a variety of mediums such as children’s books, simple videos developed to address specific issues and children’s toys to illustrate and to help your child understand. (We provide COVID-19 related stories in our resource materials.) For a child who demonstrates concerns in play, you may also be able to respond, at least initially, in that medium. For example, for the child who is acting out themes about people getting sick, depending on the situations to which the child was exposed, you might role play actions a family member or a doctor takes to help people who are sick get better. You could also read a book or share through words the actions people take. Use materials at your child’s level of understanding that also fit your child’s preferred communication style. For example, a young teen with significant cognitive delay was very proud of his reading skills. He loved reading books designed for much younger children that used pictures and words to address concerns. In contrast, a boy with a significant reading disability and language processing issues was not interested in looking at most of those books, declaring them to be “for babies,” but would talk about issues when they could be related to sports—an area in which he excelled.
 Limit your child’s exposure to media discussions and adult conversations about COVID-19. The information may be confusing to young children and those with cognitive delays—and too much exposure is likely to heighten anxiety. Try to check what your child heard and what the child understood. Clarify misperceptions and address concerns. Remember that “out of sight is not necessarily “out of earshot.” For example, a parent who was talking on the phone about the illness of a family friend thought she was having an “adult only” conversation since her
children were in a different room; she was startled when her daughter asked a little later how the friend was doing. There is more opportunity for this to happen during periods of COVID-19 “sheltering in place” with many parents and children at home when they would have been at work or school.
2. Consider the changes your child is experiencing. Changes may include losses such as limited contact with important people (for example, grandparents or significant providers), or lost opportunities for activities to which your child was looking forward. Try to help your child with strategies for compensating when this is possible—and remind your child that many of the changes are time-limited.
3. Maintain structure and routines.
 Try to maintain routines for your child. Build on old ones when practical, establish new ones when necessary. This helps establish some predictability in a changing world. For example, a mother reported that her family’s days were working better when she restructured “shelter in place” weekdays to follow the family’s school day morning routines about getting dressed, eating, and then going to a specific place set up for learning (but in her house rather than the school building). You know your own child and your child’s best balance between structure and flexibility. To the extent possible, try to honor this.
 In planning your family schedule, do take into account needs of all family members—including your own!
4. Support emotional expression and emotional coping skills. Acknowledge and accept your child’s feelings—for example, saying that you can understand that your child might be sad (about missing someone the child cannot see or something the child cannot do) or might be frightened by some part of the situation. The resource materials provide many suggestions for aiding emotional expression and coping. Tailor them to your child’s skills and preferences. For example, the mother
of a ten-year-old boy who has autism noticed that her son—although very verbal–could express feelings and talk about them more readily when he could draw simple illustrations (often with simple cartoon-like stick figures). He made a poster of strategies he knew, including ones developed with his school counselor, to help him calm down and then was able to discuss which ones would work best at home.
5. Remember that all behavior is communication. If you are seeing an increase in behavioral problems such as irritability, a return to less mature behaviors, disruption in sleep or eating patterns, or physical complaints that on checking do not seem to have a physical basis, consider the following:
 Is there something in the current situation that is confusing or frightening to your child? (Please see first section on talking with your child).
 Is the behavior, although seeming like a step backwards, actually a request for reassurance that can be ok (on a temporary basis) for this situation—such as a child who had been sleeping on her own seeking the reassurance of coming into her parents’ bed?
 How are you doing with providing some structure and routines for your child?
 How are you doing with self-care? Your needs are very important and should be balanced with those of your child. Most children will pick up on and react to a parent’s level of stress.
Manage your own anxiety – breathe, take a break, talk to someone, don’t expect too much of yourself or your child at this time.
6. Cope with the move—at least temporarily—to a virtual world for education and many resources.
 On-line access: We provide information about a resource for families with limited on-line access.
 Education: With many school systems moving at least temporarily to virtual learning, parents are reporting a range of experiences for their children who are supposed to receive educational accommodations or related services such as speech therapy or occupational therapy.
 If you have access to your providers, please work with them on expectations and guidance for services for your child. Discuss any special issues you may be having, such as dealing with your child’s understanding of or compliance with on-line learning.
 If you do not have access to your providers, we list and briefly describe some of the many sites that provide support for structured learning activities.
 Educational entitlement: As of April 2020, schools that are providing instruction are still required to provide accommodations for your child’s special needs, as specified on IEPs and 504 plans—although there is discussion of possible future “waivers” (at least temporary changes in some of the rules). We provide links regarding educational rights and issues.
 Other services you may be receiving: Your child may have been receiving Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) services, or your family may be entitled to other in-home services. Check with  your service providers about what they are able to offer, which can depend on a range of factors. Some in-home services are considered “essential services” that may be provided during social distancing, when providers are available. Some providers may be able to provide “virtual” (on-line) consultation during social distancing. Know your rights. (See information under educational access in the accompanying resource list).
7. Reinforce your child’s skill development—by everyday activities as well as formal learning.
8. Maintain socialization and social skills
 Encourage “play dates” or check-ins via video meeting software or other means, where possible.
 Use appropriate cautions concerning supervision of children’s interactions online including online gaming – there is a great deal of socializing going on right now. Children with disabilities can be teased, bullied, or manipulated – they may also obtain much needed social
support on such platforms. This might mean supervising or considering parental controls to monitor/control access to sites. See Parents’ Ultimate Guide to Parental Controls.
9. When needed, get information about how to deal with children’s health issues, including special health care needs in the current context: Many children with disabilities have special health care needs. Dealing with these needs can be challenging and may be more stressful during the pandemic. We provide resources to help address this issue.
10. Support your child with serious illness or death of a loved one: Your family may be experiencing the loss of people who have played an important role in your child’s life—such as a parent, grandparent, or extended family member, or teachers and other significant individuals. This can have a strong effect on children—including very young children and those with significant delays. We provide material on addressing your child’s response to separation, illness and loss.
11.Parent self-care: You are responding to your child with special needs in the context of your family’s other challenges. In addition to ongoing individual and family needs, many parents are coping with new work challenges (such as working at home, risks as an “essential worker,” or loss of work), financial uncertainties and hardships, and/or illness and loss of loved ones. Remember that taking care of yourself is critical for being able to also respond to your child’s needs. We provide
resources that address issues of self-care and balancing needs.

Resources

COVID-19 Resources for Parents of Children with Intellectual or Other Developmental Disabilities PDF

Family Conflict Resolution Strategies

In this time of COVID-19, we are spending nearly every waking hour quarantined with our whole family. Conflicts are surely inevitable. Here are some ideas and resources to work through your home conflicts.

Articles

Resolving family conflict-From Beyond Blue (Very Good)

Family conflicts: types and how to solve them

The 8 Keys to Resolving Family Conflict

Create Family Unity

Activity Books

THE BIG BOOK OF CONFLICT-RESOLUTION GAMES

10 Lessons for Teaching Conflict Resolution Skills

The Conflict Management Skills Workbook

One Sheet tips

triggers

Relationship Conflict Resolution – Strategies

Restorative Questions for Family Conflicts

5-tips-for-dealing-with-family-conflict-rgb

Miscellaneous

This collection of links caught my eye because the activities help to deepen the understanding of your individual family.

Parenting and Family Life

  •  7 Days of Deliciousness7 Days of delicious, home-made dinners, all under 8 ingredients and 15 minutes of prep time.  Great for new caregivers, new parents, or anyone facing a particularly grueling week. Inclues menu plan, recipes, and a shopping list
  • Would You Rather: Here’s a fun way to help your children with VALUES CLARIFICATION. Use it while you are in the car, waiting in line, or just enjoying a quiet moment together.
  • Problem Solving for Kids: Here’s a nice worksheet to help you teach your child how to work through tough situations.
  • You can use this Family Schedule Worksheet to help organize your new routine and post it for everyone to see.
  • Family Night Cards: Print out this handy set of activity cards to make planning family night a breeze.  There are 10 pre-filled cards to get you started as well as a set of blank cards to hold all your family favorites!
  • Family Values and Rules:  Here is a great idea for your next family night – create a set of values and rules that are a unique reflection of your family.  This worksheet makes the process run smoothly.
  • The Four Styles of Communication: Learn about effective communication.
  • Family conflict resolution worksheet: Try out this worksheet the next time you are faced with a family fight.
  • Identifying Family Stress Triggers: Figure out what specific trigger heat things up at your house
  • The Family Mission Statement: Here’s a great way to build family cohesiveness.  Start creating your family mission statement at your next family meeting!
  • Family Safety Card: Make sure everyone is on the same page in an emergency
  • Family Emergency Plan Template: Make sure everyone is on the same page in an emergency

Source

 

Some content on this page was disabled on July 17, 2020 as a result of a DMCA takedown notice from PsychPoint.com. You can learn more about the DMCA here:

https://en.support.wordpress.com/copyright-and-the-dmca/

How to talk to your kids about COVID-19 – from NASP

Talking to Children About COVID-19 (Coronavirus): A Parent Resource

A new type of coronavirus, abbreviated COVID-19, is causing an outbreak of respiratory (lung) disease. It was first detected in China and has now been detected internationally. While the immediate health risk in the United States is low, it is important to plan for any possible outbreaks if the risk level increases in the future.

Concern over this new virus can make children and families anxious. While we don’t know where and to what extent the disease may spread here in the United States, we do know that it is contagious, that the severity of illness can vary from individual to individual, and that there are steps we can take to prevent the spread of infection. Acknowledging some level of concern, without panicking, is appropriate and can result in taking actions that reduce the risk of illness. Helping children cope with anxiety requires providing accurate prevention information and facts without causing undue alarm.

It is very important to remember that children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events. If parents seem overly worried, children’s anxiety may rise. Parents should reassure children that health and school officials are working hard to ensure that people throughout the country stay healthy. However, children also need factual, age appropriate information about the potential seriousness of disease risk and concrete instruction about how to avoid infections and spread of disease. Teaching children positive preventive measures, talking with them about their fears, and giving them a sense of some control over their risk of infection can help reduce anxiety.

Specific Guidelines

Remain calm and reassuring.

  • Children will react to and follow your verbal and nonverbal reactions.
  • What you say and do about COVID-19, current prevention efforts, and related events can either increase or decrease your children’s anxiety.
  • If true, emphasize to your children that they and your family are fine.
  • Remind them that you and the adults at their school are there to keep them safe and healthy.
  • Let your children talk about their feelings and help reframe their concerns into the appropriate perspective.

Make yourself available.

  • Children may need extra attention from you and may want to talk about their concerns, fears, and questions.
  • It is important that they know they have someone who will listen to them; make time for them.
  • Tell them you love them and give them plenty of affection.

Avoid excessive blaming.

  • When tensions are high, sometimes we try to blame someone.
  • It is important to avoid stereotyping any one group of people as responsible for the virus.
  • Bullying or negative comments made toward others should be stopped and reported to the school.
  • Be aware of any comments that other adults are having around your family. You may have to explain what comments mean if they are different than the values that you have at home.

Monitor television viewing and social media.

  • Limit television viewing or access to information on the Internet and through social media. Try to avoid watching or listening to information that might be upsetting when your children are present.
  • Speak to your child about how many stories about COVID-19 on the Internet may be based on rumors and inaccurate information.
  • Talk to your child about factual information of this disease—this can help reduce anxiety.
  • Constantly watching updates on the status of COVID-19 can increase anxiety—avoid this.
  • Be aware that developmentally inappropriate information (i.e., information designed for adults) can cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young
  • Engage your child in games or other interesting activities instead.

Maintain a normal routine to the extent possible.

  • Keep to a regular schedule, as this can be reassuring and promotes physical health.
  • Encourage your children to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities, but don’t push them if they seem overwhelmed.

Be honest and accurate.

  • In the absence of factual information, children often imagine situations far worse than reality.
  • Don’t ignore their concerns, but rather explain that at the present moment very few people in this country are sick with COVID-19.
  • Children can be told this disease is thought to be spread between people who are in close contact with one another—when an infected person coughs or sneezes.
  • It is also thought it can be spread when you touch an infected surface or object, which is why it is so important to protect yourself.
  • For additional factual information contact your school nurse, ask your doctor, or check the https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html website.

Know the symptoms of COVID-19.

  • The CDC believes these symptoms appear in a few days after being exposed to someone with the disease or as long as 14 days after exposure:
  • Fever
  • Cough
  • Shortness for breath
  • For some people the symptoms are like having a cold; for others they are quite severe or even life threatening. In either case it is important to check with your child’s healthcare provider (or yours) and follow instructions about staying home or away from public spaces to prevent the spread of the virus.

Review and model basic hygiene and healthy lifestyle practices for protection.

  • Encourage your child to practice every day good hygiene—simple steps to prevent spread of illness:
    • Wash hands multiple times a day for at least 20 seconds (singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star slowly takes about 20 seconds).
    • Cover their mouths with a tissue when they sneeze or cough and throw away the tissue immediately, or sneeze or cough into the bend of their elbow. Do not share food or drinks.
    • Practice giving fist or elbow bumps instead of handshakes. Fewer germs are spread this way.
  • Giving children guidance on what they can do to prevent infection gives them a greater sense of control over disease spread and will help to reduce their anxiety.
  • Encourage your child to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly; this will help them develop a strong immune system to fight off illness.

Discuss new rules or practices at school.

  • Many schools already enforce illness prevention habits, including frequent hand washing or use of alcohol-based hand cleansers.
  • Your school nurse or principal will send information home about any new rules or practices.
  • Be sure to discuss this with your child.
  • Contact your school nurse with any specific questions.

Communicate with your school.

  • Let your school know if your child is sick and keep them home. Your school may ask if your child has a fever or not. This information will help the school to know why your child was kept home. If your child is diagnosed with COVID-19, let the school know so they can communicate with and get guidance from local health authorities.
  • Talk to your school nurse, school psychologist, school counselor, or school social worker if your child is having difficulties as a result of anxiety or stress related to COVID-19. They can give guidance and support to your child at school.
  • Make sure to follow all instructions from your school. 

Take Time to Talk

You know your children best. Let their questions be your guide as to how much information to provide. However, don’t avoid giving them the information that health experts identify as critical to ensuring your children’s health. Be patient; children and youth do not always talk about their concerns readily. Watch for clues that they may want to talk, such as hovering around while you do the dishes or yard work. It is very typical for younger children to ask a few questions, return to playing, then come back to ask more questions.When sharing information, it is important make sure to provide facts without promoting a high level of stress, remind children that adults are working to address this concern, and give children actions they can take to protect themselves.

Information is rapidly changing about this new virus—to have the most correct information stay informed by accessing https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html.

Keep Explanations Age Appropriate

  • Early elementary school children need brief, simple information that should balance COVID-19 facts with appropriate reassurances that their schools and homes are safe and that adults are there to help keep them healthy and to take care of them if they do get sick. Give simple examples of the steps people take every day to stop germs and stay healthy, such as washing hands. Use language such as “adults are working hard to keep you safe.”
  • Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking questions about whether they truly are safe and what will happen if COVID-19 comes to their school or community. They may need assistance separating reality from rumor and fantasy. Discuss efforts of school and community leaders to prevent germs from spreading.
  • Upper middle school and high school students are able to discuss the issue in a more in-depth (adult-like) fashion and can be referred directly to appropriate sources of COVID-19 facts. Provide honest, accurate, and factual information about the current status of COVID-19. Having such knowledge can help them feel a sense of control.

Suggested Points to Emphasize When Talking to Children

  • Adults at home and school are taking care of your health and safety. If you have concerns, please talk to an adult you trust.
  • Not everyone will get the coronavirus (COVID-19) disease. School and health officials are being especially careful to make sure as few people as possible get sick.
  • It is important that all students treat each other with respect and not jump to conclusions about who may or may not have COVID-19.
  • There are things you can do to stay health and avoid spreading the disease:

o   Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

o   Stay home when you are sick.

o   Cover your cough or sneeze into your elbow or a tissue, then throw the tissue in the trash.

o   Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.

o   Wash hands often with soap and water (20 seconds).

o   If you don’t have soap, use hand sanitizer (60–95% alcohol based).

o   Clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces using a regular household cleaning spray or wipe.

Additional Resources

Talking With Children: Tips for Caregivers, Parents, and Teachers During Infectious Disease Outbreaks, https://store.samhsa.gov/product/Talking-With-Children-Tips-for-Caregivers-Parents-and-Teachers-During-Infectious-Disease-Outbreaks/SMA14-4886

Coping With Stress During Infectious Disease Outbreaks, https://store.samhsa.gov/product/Coping-with-Stress-During-Infectious-Disease-Outbreaks/sma14-4885

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19), https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/about/transmission.html

Handwashing and Hand Sanitizer Use at Home, at Play, and Out and About, https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/pdf/hand-sanitizer-factsheet.pdf

For more information related to schools and physical and mental health, visit www.nasponline.org and www.nasn.org.

© 2020, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, 301-657-0270

Related COVID-19 Resources

Parenting Classes Through “Triple P”

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TRIPLE P IN A NUTSHELL

The Triple P – Positive Parenting Program ® is a parenting and family support system designed to prevent – as well as treat – behavioral and emotional problems in children and teenagers. It aims to prevent problems in the family, school, and community before they arise and to create family environments that encourage children to realize their potential.

Triple P draws on social learning, cognitive behavioral and developmental theory as well as research into risk factors associated with the development of social and behavioral problems in children. It aims to equip parents with the skills and confidence they need to be self-sufficient and to be able to manage family issues without ongoing support.

 

And while it is almost universally successful in improving behavioral problems, more than half of Triple P’s 17 parenting strategies focus on developing positive relationships, attitudes, and conduct.

 

Triple P is delivered to parents of children up to 12 years, with Teen Triple P for parents of 12 to 16-year-olds. There are also specialist programs – for parents of children with a disability (Stepping Stones), for parents going through separation or divorce (Family Transitions), for parents of children who are overweight (Lifestyle) and for Indigenous parents (Indigenous). Other specialist programs are being trialed or are in development.

BENEFITS OF TRIPLE P

Triple P is unlike any other parenting program in the world, with benefits both clinical and practical.

Flexible delivery

Triple P’s flexibility sets it apart from many other parenting interventions. Triple P has flexibility in:

Age range and special circumstance

Triple P can cater to an entire population — for children from birth to 16 years. There are also specialist programs – including programs for parents of children with a disability; parents of children with health or weight concerns; parents going through divorce or separation; and for Indigenous families.

Intensity of program

Triple P’s distinctive multi-level system is the only one of its kind, offering a suite of programs of increasing intensity, each catering to a different level of family need or dysfunction, from “light-touch” parenting help to highly targeted interventions for at-risk families.

How it’s delivered

Just as the type of programs within the Triple P system differ, so do the settings in which the programs are delivered – personal consultations, group courses, larger public seminars and online and other self-help interventions are all available.

Who can be trained to deliver

Practitioners come from a wide range of professions and disciplines and include family support workers, doctors, nurses, psychologists, counselors, teachers, teacher’s aides, police officers, social workers, child safety officers and clergy.

Evidence based

Triple P is the most extensively researched parenting program in the world. Developed by clinical psychologist Professor Matt Sanders and his colleagues at Australia’s University of Queensland, Triple P is backed by more than 35 years’ ongoing research, conducted by academic institutions in the U.S., the U.K., Canada, the Netherlands, Belgium, Sweden, Iran, Hong Kong, Japan, Turkey, New Zealand and Australia.

Population approach

Triple P has been designed as a population-based health approach to parenting, typically implemented by jurisdictions, government bodies or NGOs (non-government organizations) across regions or countries. The aim is to reach as many people as possible to have the greatest preventative impact on a community. The Triple P system can go to scale simply and cost efficiently. It has been shown to work with many different cultures and ethnicities.

Comprehensive resources

All Triple P interventions are supported with comprehensive, professionally produced resources for both practitioners and parents. The resources have all been clinically trialled and tested. The parent resources have been translated, variously, from English into 21 languages.

Organizational support

Triple P’s dissemination experts around the world have experience assisting all levels of government and non-government organizations and are available to advise through all stages of a Triple P rollout – from planning and training to delivery, evaluation and beyond. Triple P uses an Implementation Framework to help support the success and sustainability of Triple P.

Communications strategy

An integrated communications strategy, which helps destigmatize parenting support and reaches parents via a range of communications materials, puts parenting on the public agenda. It creates an awareness and acceptance of parenting support in general – and Triple P specifically.

Evaluation measures

The success of Triple P is easily monitored on both a personal level and across a population. Triple P provides tools for practitioners to measure “before” and “after” results with parents, allowing them to demonstrate Triple P’s effectiveness to the parents they work with and also to their own managers. computerized scoring applications can also be adapted to collate results across a region to show effects community-wide or within a target group.

Cost effective

Triple P’s system works to prevent overservicing and wastage, with its range of programs able to cater to the diversity of parents’ needs – from light-touch to intense intervention. It’s also a program that promotes self-regulation and self-sufficiency, as Triple P gives parents the skills they need to become problem solvers and confidently manage their issues independently, rather than rely on the ongoing support of a practitioner.

 

On a broader scale, as an early intervention strategy, Triple P has been shown to reduce costs associated with conduct disorder, child abuse and out-of-home placement, delivering significant benefits when compared to the cost of the program. Read more about Triple P’s cost efficiency.

LOCAL CONTACTS

If you represent an agency, organization, jurisdiction or government and would like to discuss implementing Triple P in your region, or inquire about training your staff to deliver Triple P to parents, please contact:

U.S.A.

Triple P America Inc.
1201 Lincoln St, Suite 201
Columbia, SC, 29201, USA
contact.us@triplep.net
+1-803-451 2278

Australia

Triple P International Pty Ltd
11 Market Street North
Indooroopilly, QLD 4068, AU
contact@triplep.net
+61-7-3236 1212

Canada

Triple P Parenting Canada Inc.
contact.canada@triplep.net
+1-647-822-8772

Germany

Triple P Deutschland
info@triplep.de
+49-0251-1621248

Latin America

Triple P Latin America
francisca@triplep.net
+56-97-879 4832

New Zealand

Triple P New Zealand Limited
infonz@triplep.net
+64-9-579 1794

United Kingdom

Triple P UK Limited
contact@triplep.uk.net
+44-207-987 2944

All other countries

Triple P International Pty Ltd
contact@triplep.net
+61-7-3236 1212

Links

Triple P Online – Overview PDF

YouTube Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Santa Cruz County Triple P Website

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