Developing Positive Self Talk in School Age Children

I can do it

There has been a lot of recent buzz around the idea of the “Growth Mindset” from Carol S. Dweck. A piece of the “Growth Mindset” is developing in inner monologue of “I can”. Which ends up being how to tame the invading negative thoughts. This post is dedicated to developing the “I can” in school-age kids.

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General

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Improving Achievement Through Self-Talk – Trish Spencer

Five Key Points

In What Students Say to Themselves: Internal Dialogue and School Success (Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press, 2000), William Watson Purkey suggests the following five points to keep in mind as you try to shape students’ self-talk:

  1. What significant people think about students and how they act toward students influences how students define themselves.
  2. How students define themselves in their internal dialogue influences their academic success and failure.
  3. Everything the school does and the way things are done influences what students say to themselves.
  4. Altering how students define themselves involves altering the total school environment.
  5. The task of the school is to structure experiences that reduce crippling self-talk while inviting students to define themselves in essentially positive and realistic ways. (p. 77)

Research of Positive Self Talk

Coping Thoughts

 Stop, and breathe, I can do this
 This will pass
 I can be anxious/angry/sad and still deal with this
 I have done this before, and I can do it again
 This feels bad, it’s a normal body reaction – it will pass
 This feels bad, and feelings are very often wrong
 These are just feelings, they will go away
 This won’t last forever
 Short-term pain for long-term gain
 I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction
 I don’t need to rush, I can take things slowly
 I have survived before, I will survive now
 I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now
 It’s okay to feel this way, it’s a normal reaction
 Right now, I am not in danger. Right now, I’m safe
 My mind is not always my friend
 Thoughts are just thoughts – they’re not necessarily true or factual
 This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary
 I can use my coping skills and get through this
 I can learn from this and it will be easier next time

Source

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Specific Strategies

Help your learner see the positive by Reframing their Thoughts in a positive light.

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STOP Plan

Scared?
Thoughts?
Other helpful thoughts?
Praise and Plan!

 Developing and Using Cognitive Coping Cards

Example of Coping Card-

My Coping Card to Beat Anxiety!
1. Anxiety is not dangerous. It can’t hurt me! It’s just a bully!
2. I can boss back my anxiety. I have done it before!
3. If my heart is racing, I get sweaty, and my tummy hurts. That means that my anxiety
is acting up. I’m not in danger.
4. I could do some relaxation now.

My Coping Card to Beat Anxiety!
1. My face is getting hot and my head is getting dizzy! My anxiety is acting up again!
2. Maybe I need to use the STOP plan now! *
3. If I’m feeling anxious, I could do some calm breathing to calm down.
4. I have lots of friends at school, and they like me even when I get anxious. They told
me so.

coping tool box

Source

power-of-positivity-workshopPOWER OF POSITIVITY PRINTABLE WORKSHOP

This is a printable workshop with a selection of activities, worksheets and craft ideas plus 30 exercises to help you develop a positive mindset.  To be used at home or in the classroom; for kids and/or adults. Cost 9.99

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