APA suggests these tips to help parents effectively manage holiday stress
Strengthen social connections – We know that strong, supportive relationships help us manage all kinds of challenges. So, we can view the holidays as a time to reconnect with the positive people in our lives. Accepting help and support from those who care about us can help alleviate stress. Also, volunteering at a local charity on our own or with family can be another way to make connections; helping others often makes us feel better, too.
Initiate conversations about the season – It can be helpful to have conversations with our kids about the variety of different holiday traditions our families, friends and others may celebrate. Parents can use this time as an opportunity to discuss how some families may not participate in the same holiday traditions as others. Not everyone needs to be the same. It is important to teach open-mindedness about others and their celebrations.
Set expectations – It is helpful to set realistic expectations for gifts and holiday activities. Depending on a child’s age, we can use this opportunity to teach kids about the value of money and responsible spending. We need to remember to pare down our own expectations, too. Instead of trying to take on everything, we need to identify the most important holiday tasks and take small concrete steps to accomplish them.
Keep things in perspective – On the whole, the holiday season is short. It helps to maintain a broader context and a longer-term perspective. We can ask ourselves, what’s the worst thing that could happen this holiday? Our greatest fears may not happen and, if they do, we can tap our strengths and the help of others to manage them. There will be time after the holiday season to follow up or do more of things we’ve overlooked or did not have the time to do during the holidays.
Take care of yourself – It is important that we pay attention to our own needs and feelings during the holiday season. We can find fun, enjoyable and relaxing activities for ourselves and our families. By keeping our minds and bodies healthy, we are primed to deal with stressful situations when they arise. Consider cutting back television viewing for kids and getting the family out together for fresh air and a winter walk. Physical activity can help us feel better and sleep well, while reducing sedentary time and possible exposure to stress-inducing advertisements. Source
Motivating all students can be a challenge. This post focuses on the issues and strategies to help support those pupils who need us as teachers to meet them where they are at and help them find their way to motivation.
Parents are central to student motivation. The beginning of a new school year is very important. Children with LD and ADHD often struggle with change. Parents can help get the year off to a good start.
Provide a warm, accepting home environment.
Give clear directions and feedback.
Create a model for success
Build on the student’s strengths
Relate schoolwork to the student’s interests
Help build a family structure that fosters consistent work towards the goal.
Help the student to have some control over how and when he learns.
Emphasize the child’s progress rather than his or her performance in comparison to the other students in the class or family.
Remember to reinforce the behavior you want.
Use reinforcers wisely. Recall that intrinsic motivation works best. Follow a child’s interests, when possible, rather than spending time building elaborate reward systems Source
What the Research Says: Students who believe that they have the ability to complete a particular academic task (self-efficacy) do better and have higher levels of motivation (Jacobs et al., 2002). Yet students often sabotage their academic performance by engaging in negative self-talk about their abilities and by making faulty attributions to explain poor academic performance (Linnenbrink & Pintrich, 2002). Source
Sternberg, R. (1994). In search of the human mind (395-396). New York: Harcourt Brace.
Stipek, D. (1988). Motivation to learn: From theory to practice. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.
Motivational Interview
“Motivational Interviewing is a collaborative, goal-oriented style of communication with particular attention to the language of change. It is designed to strengthen personal motivation for and commitment to a specific goal by eliciting and exploring the person’s own reasons for change within an atmosphere of acceptance and compassion.” Miller and Rollnick (2012)
“When we think of failure; Failure will be ours. If we remain undecided; Nothing will ever change. All we need to do is want to achieve something great and then simply do it. Never think of failure, for what we think, will come about.” ~Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
Building awareness with all kids to help them better understand the world around them is a should be a priority for schools. It is quite normal for kids to be curious about other children who may use special materials / equipment or behave/ learn differently. It is our role as parents, teachers, and citizens to support the kids in their understanding of these differences. Social Emotional Learning under the guidelines of CASEL should be a pillar in your school plan.
“Andy and His Yellow Frisbee” by Mary Thompson Pre-k -3rd “Be Good to Eddie Lee ” by Virginia Filling Pre-k -3rd “Arnie & the New Kid ” by Nancy Carlson Pre-k -3rd “Danny and the Merry-go-Round” by Nan Holcomb Pre-k -3rd “Let’s Talk about It” by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos Pre-K – 3rd “Leo the Late Bloomer” by Robert Kraus Pre-k -3rd “Fair and Square” by Nan Holcomb 1st – 2nd “I’m like You, You’re like Me” by Cindy Gainer 1st – 2nd “We can do it! by Laura Dwight 1st – 2nd “Rolling Along: The story of Taylor and his Wheelchair” by Jamee Heelan 1st – 5th “Adam and the Magic Marble” by Adam and Carol Buehrens 2nd – 6th
Middle and High School Disability Awareness Book Review
“are you alone on purpose?” By Nancy Werlin. Allison and Adam are twins but Adam has Autism and Allison is gifted. Their parents start going to synagogue and there they meet Harry, the Rabbi’s son, who is a bully and very mean to Adam. When Harry is injured and ends up in a wheelchair he becomes more vulnerable and Allison and Harry become friends. This is a moving story about learning about disabilities but toward the end there are a few cuss words. The story itself is marvelous, but due to some harsh language it is more for high school students.
“Don’t Stop The Music“ by Robert Perske. This novel is exciting and a fun adventure that teaches about physical disabilities and perceptions of able-bodied individuals toward people with disabilities. It has a crime mystery imbedded in a disability awareness book. This book would be wonderful for middle school students as well as young high school students.
“head above water” by S.L. Rottman. This novel is about a 16-year-old girl with an 18-year-old brother with Down Syndrome. Their mother works two jobs to make ends meet and therefore Skye takes on most of the caretaking activities with Sunny. This story highlights how it is having a sibling with a disability. Skye has her first boyfriend and having a brother who she needs to take care of gets in the way of her teenage life. There is some serious storyline as her new boyfriend pressures her to have sex and almost rapes her. It is wonderful how Skye defends herself and sticks up for what she believes in, however, this book would be appropriate for high school only due to the mature storyline.
“Petey” by Ben Mikaelsen. This novel examines the notion that people with physical disabilities are often assumed to have cognitive disabilities when they often do not. This story starts in the early part of the 1900s and follows Petey Corbin though living in an institution and then a nursing home. It is a delightful journey that clearly shows how non-disabled people often are frightened of people with disabilities until they get to know them. It is a particularly good book for boys and is appropriate for both middle and high school students.
“Rules” by Cynthia Lord. This is a Newbery Honor Book and Schneider Family Book Award winner. The story follows a brother with autism and a sister who shares a lot of responsibility for teaching her bother the rules of getting along in a world that does not always have compassion and understanding for someone with autism. Catherine creates rules to help David understand how to live in the world. Catherine also learns a few lessons about other disabilities. This is an excellent book for middle and high school alike.
“Views from our Shoes” Edited by Donald Meyer. This is a compilation of forty-five (45) short narratives of siblings of children with disabilities and how they view living with their siblings.
It is a nice view from children as young as four to as old as eighteen. This book is appropriate for middle and high school students.
“Wish on a Unicorn” by Karen Hesse. This novel uses imagination and wishes to explore the dreams of children living in poverty with a sibling with a disability. The relationship between the children and how protective they are of their sister with a cognitive disability is heart warming. It would be an easy novel to do writing activities with. What would you wish for if you found a unicorn? How would you handle a bully? This story lends itself to middle and high school students.
“The Summer of the Swans” by Betsy Byars. Newberry Award Winner. This novel tells the story of a family that includes a boy with a cognitive disability. This is a short book that easily shows the family dynamics and how it is to be a sibling of a child with a disability. This is a good book for middle school level.
I have always noticed when my kids have a novel nondescript object (stick, box) to play with it tends to capture their imaginative states for longer periods of time. Living by the beach both my kids seem to find driftwood, shells, sticks and existing sand castle, holes, and sand mounds to play in and around for hours on end. This is what perked my interest in the idea of what I would later find to be labeled as the “Theory of loose parts”.
The theory of “loose parts” first proposed by architect Simon Nicholson in the 1970’s has begun to influence child-play experts and the people who design playspaces for children in a big way. Nicholson believed that it is the ‘loose parts’ in our environment that will empower our creativity.
Blogs reviewing the power and scope of Loose Parts.
We are almost back at another school year. Time to suit up and get the show on the road. Of course coming back to the classroom carries the gamut of feelings and expression of those emotions. So with that in mind here is a short list of readings and ideas, I have come across over the summer with my own return.
As the end of the school year approaches, many children and teachers are counting down to vacation. The activities and lesson plans in this collection will help you celebrate what you’ve all learned together and ease the anxiety of the transition to summer. Source
To succeed in school and life, children and young adults need ongoing opportunities to learn and practice essential skills. This is especially true during the summer months.
Many Americans have a wonderful image of summer as a carefree, happy time when “kids can be kids,” and take for granted the prospect of enriching experiences such as summer camps, time with family, and trips to museums, parks, and libraries.
Unfortunately, some youth face anything but idyllic summer months. When the school doors close, many children struggle to access educational opportunities, as well as basic needs such as healthy meals and adequate adult supervision.
Did You Know?
All young people experience learning losses when they do not engage in educational activities during the summer. Research spanning 100 years shows that students typically score lower on standardized tests at the end of summer vacation than they do on the same tests at the beginning of the summer (White, 1906; Heyns, 1978; Entwisle & Alexander 1992; Cooper, 1996; Downey et al, 2004).
Most students lose about two months of grade level equivalency in mathematical computation skills over the summer months. Low-income students also lose more than two months in reading achievement, despite the fact that their middle-class peers make slight gains (Cooper, 1996).
More than half of the achievement gap between lower- and higher-income youth can be explained by unequal access to summer learning opportunities. As a result, low-income youth are less likely to graduate from high school or enter college (Alexander et al, 2007).
Children lose more than academic knowledge over the summer. Most children—particularly children at high risk of obesity—gain weight more rapidly when they are out of school during summer break (Von Hippel et al, 2007).
Parents consistently cite summer as the most difficult time to ensure that their children have productive things to do (Duffett et al, 2004).
All children have to learn skills that lend to their independence and autonomy. Developing Functional Independence is a parent’s main duty. Educators can team with parents to support independence in their students by helping identifying a need and suggesting strategies that support self reliance in a child. Chores are a great way to introduce concepts of developing independence.
There are 5 questions I think you can ask that will help you as you decide how to handle the situations at home to promote independence.
What things are really important to you as a family? If taking care of pets is really important and your child has a role in that, then as a family, that’s an important piece. But if no one else makes the bed in the family, for example, it may not be an important thing to expect of that child. This is what I mean by choosing what you’re going to do battle over.
What things are really important to your child and their life? It may not be important to you that your child chooses their own TV programs in the evening. But for your child, it may be really important to do that. Or it may be very important for your six-year-old to pick out her own clothes. If these tasks give your child age appropriate independence, I say let them do it.
Does the expectation contribute to the family or household? If your child has a responsibility to empty the dishwasher and that helps the next person who has to set the table, that’s a more important task than something that doesn’t have any connection to anyone else in the family.
Can there be some give and take? Can there be a choice to do something similar but different? There may be something your child is more willing or able to do that might be more meaningful to the rest of the family. Remember, the goal is for your child to succeed at what he’s doing and to build on that success.
Are there things you can do to help organize your child? Can you help structure that particular task or responsibility so that your child can be more successful? Setting it up so your child can more easily sort the recycling by having a designated area and special bins set up might do wonders to get the job done. Source
Erikson was keen to improve the way children and young people are taught and nurtured, and it would be appropriate for his ideas to be more widely known and used in day-to-day life. It is good to take stock in what should be accomplished at each stage of development to help keep expectations in perspective when parenting toward independence. Source
Last night I attended the talk by Dr. Denise Pope at Cabrillo College. She recently wrote a book called – Overloaded and Underprepared: Strategies for Stronger Schools, and Healthy Successful Kids. For the past thirteen years, she has specialized in student engagement, curriculum studies, qualitative research methods, and service learning. She lectures nationally on parenting techniques and pedagogical strategies to increase student health, engagement with learning, and integrity. Her book Doing School: How We are Creating a Generation of Stressed Out, Materialistic, and Miseducated Students was awarded Notable Book in Education by the American School Board Journal.
Denise is a three-time recipient of the Stanford University Graduate School of EducationOutstanding Teacher and Mentor Award. She has been featured on CNN, World News Tonight, the Today Show, NPR, among other television and radio programs. Source
She had a great message and I could not stop thinking about how applicable it was to our kids. She of course has written books (which I plan to read) and is published professionally, but what I found remarkable was the amount of resources on her website.
Last night I went to see Julie Lythcott-Haims (website) speak about her book How to Raise an Adult- Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success at Aptos High School. It was a mind stretching experience! She was funny, experienced, dynamic, humble, courageous, and practical! The experience I was left with was enlightening, therapeutic, and hopeful. Leaving the talk my mind hasn’t stopped thinking about my own children and the kids I work with everyday.
Main themes included:
Parenting Style
Fostering Independence in four steps
Do for the child.
Do with the child.
Guide and step aside.
Child is independent with the task.
Reflection
My questions to myself as a parent:
When I parent am I fostering independence?
Am I responsive to my kids interest or am I leading with what I would like for them to do?
As a parent am I modeling good practices to demonstrate independence for my kids?
As a educator I ask myself:
When I consult with a parent who needs to engage in activities to better develop a child’s resiliency and independence, am I scaffolding that in an attainable way?
Given that hovering parents are becoming a more typical reality in our community what am I doing to hone my skills to support their needs?
Building Momentum in Schools 