Good Reads

• Building a Culture of Health Through Safe and Healthy Elementary School Recess
• Dr. Ken Shore’s Classroom Problem Solver Playground Behaviors
• A Parent’s Guide to Conflict Resolution & Peer Mediation (School Example)
• Playground Management Plan (Very Clear and Comprehensive)
• Good practical collection of  tools utilizing the “Peace Program”
• The Importance of Outdoor Play and Its Impact on Brain Development In Children
• The Importance of Recess, Play, and Active Classrooms
• ​​A Research-Based Case for Recess
• ​Give me a Break! Can Strategic Recess Scheduling Increase On-Task Behavior for First Graders?
• Is the Elimination of Recess in School a Violation of a Child’s Basic Human Rights?
• Playing Fair: The Contribution of High-Functioning Recess to Overall School Climate in Low-Income Elementary Schools​
• Recess in Elementary School: What Does the Research Say?
• ​School Recess and Group Classroom Behavior
• ​School Recess and Social Development​
• The Crucial Role of Recess in Schools
• ​The Role of Recess in Children’s Cognitive Performance and School Adjustment

What you promote by creating a positive recess experience:

Outdoor Play Allows a School-Aged Child to:
-Increase the flow of blood to the brain. The blood delivers oxygen and glucose, which the brain needs for heightened alertness and mental focus.

-Build up the body’s level of brain-derived neurotrophic factor or BDNF, BDNF causes the brain’s nerve cells to branch out, join together and communicate with each other in new ways, which leads to your child’s openness to learning an more capacity for knowledge

-Build new brain cells in a brain region called dentate gyrus, which is linked
with memory and memory loss.

-Improves their ability to learn.

-Increase the size of basal ganglia, a key part of the brain that aids in
maintaining attention and “executive control,” or the ability to coordinate
actions and thoughts crisply.

-Strengthen the vestibular systems that create spatial awareness and mental
alertness. This provides your child with the framework for reading and other
academic skills 

-Help creativity

Raise Smart Kid (2015). The Benefits of Exercise On Your Kid’s Brain.

Addressing Conflict on the Yard

Conflict is normal

Conflict is a normal part of children’s lives. Having different needs or wants, or wanting the same thing when only one is available, can easily lead children into conflict with one another. “She won’t let me play,” “He took my …”, “Tom’s being mean!” are complaints that parents, carers and school staff often hear when children get into conflict and are unable to resolve it. Common ways that children respond to confl ict include arguing and physical aggression, as well as more passive responses such as backing off and avoiding one another.

When conflict is poorly managed it can have a negative impact on children’s relationships, on their self-esteem and on their learning. However, teaching children the skills for resolving conflict can help signifi cantly. By learning to manage conflict effectively, children’s skills for getting along with others can be improved. Children are much happier, have better friendships and are better learners at school when they know how to manage conflict well.

Different ways of responding to conflict

Since children have different needs and preferences, experiencing conflict with others is unavoidable. Many children (and adults) think of conflict as a competition that can only be decided by having a winner and a loser. The problem with thinking about conflict in this way is that it promotes win-lose behaviour: children who want to win try to dominate the other person; children who think they can’t win try to avoid the conflict. This does not result in effective conflict resolution.

Win-lose approaches to conflict

Children may try to get their way in a conflict by using force. Some children give in to try to stop the conflict, while others try to avoid the situation altogether. These different styles are shown below. When introducing younger children to the different ways that conflicts can be handled, talking about the ways the animals included as examples below might deal with conflict can help their understanding. It introduces an element of fun and enjoyment.

Conflict style	Animal example	Child’s behaviour
Force	Shark, bull, lion	Argues, yells, debates, threatens, uses logic to impose own view.
Give in	Jelly fish, teddy bear	Prevents fights, tries to make others happy.
Avoid	Ostrich, turtle	Thinks or says: “I don’t want conflict.” Distracts, talks about something else, leaves the room or the relationship.

Sometimes these approaches appear to work in the short-term, but they create other sets of problems. When children use force to win in a conflict it creates resentment and fear in others. Children who ‘win’ using this approach may develop a pattern of dominating and bullying others to get what they want. Children who tend to give in or avoid conflict may lack both confidence and skills for appropriate assertive behaviour. They are more likely to be dominated or bullied by others and may feel anxious and negative about themselves.

It is possible instead to respond to conflict in positive ways that seek a fair outcome. Instead of being seen as a win-lose competition, conflict can be seen as an opportunity to build healthier and more respectful relationships through understanding the perspectives of others.

Win-some lose-some: Using compromise to resolve conflict

Adults have a significant impact on how children deal with conflict. Often adults encourage children to deal with conflict by compromising. Compromising means that no-one wins or loses outright. Each person gets some of what they want and also gives up some of what they want. Many children learn how to compromise as they grow and find ways to negotiate friendships. It is common around the middle of primary school for children to become very concerned with fairness and with rules as a way of ensuring fairness. This may correspond with an approach to resolving conflict that is based on compromise.

Conflict style	Animal example	Child’s behaviour
Compromise	Fox	I give a bit and expect you to give a bit too.

Win-win: Using cooperation to resolve conflict

Using a win-win approach means finding out more about the problem and looking together for creative solutions so that everyone can get what they want.

Conflict style	Animal example	Child’s behaviour
Sort out the problem (Win-win)	Owl	Discover ways of helping everyone in the conflict to get what they want.

Skills required for effective conflict resolution

Effective conflict resolution requires children to apply a combination of well-developed social and emotional skills. These include skills for managing feelings, understanding others, communicating effectively and making decisions. Children need guidance and ‘coaching’ to learn these skills. Learning to use all the skills effectively in combination takes practice and maturity. However, with guidance children can begin to use a win-win model and gradually develop their abilities to resolve conflicts independently.

Skill	What to encourage children to learn
Manage strong emotions	Use strategies to control strong feelings
Verbally express own thoughts and feelings	Identify and communicate thoughts and feelings
Identify the problem and express own needs	Talk about their own wants/needs/fears/concerns without demanding an immediate solution
Understand the other person’s perspective	Listen to what the other person wants/needs Understand the other person’s fears/concerns Understand without having to agree Respond sensitively and appropriately
Generate a number of solutions to the problem	Think of a variety of options Try to include the needs and concerns of everyone involved
Negotiate a win-win solution	Be flexible Be open-minded Look after own needs as well as the other person’s needs (be assertive)

Guiding children through the steps of conflict resolution

1. Set the stage for WIN-WIN outcomes

Conflict arises when people have different needs or views of a situation. Make it clear that you are going to help the children listen to each other’s point of view and look for ways to solve the problem that everyone can agree to.

• Ask, “What’s the problem here?” Be sure to get both sides of the story (eg “He won’t let me have a turn” from one child, and “I only just started and it’s my game,” from another).
• Say, I’m sure if we talk this through we’ll be able to sort it out so that everyone is happy.”

2. Have children state their own needs and concerns

The aim is to find out how each child sees the problem. Help children identify and communicate their needs and concerns without judging or blaming.

• Ask, “What do you want or need? What are you most concerned about?”

3. Help children listen to the other person and understand their needs and concerns

In the heat of conflict it can be difficult to understand that the other person has feelings and needs too. Listening to the other person helps to reduce the conflict and allows children to think of the problem as something they can solve together.

• Ask, “So you want to have a turn at this game now because it’s nearly time to go home? And you want to keep playing to see if you can get to the next level?”
• Show children that you understand both points of view: “I can understand why you want to get your turn. I can see why you don’t want to stop now.”

4. Help children think of different ways to solve the problem

Often children who get into conflict can only think of one solution. Getting them to think of creative ways for solving the conflict encourages them to come up with new solutions that no-one thought of before. Ask them to let the ideas flow and think of as many options as they can, without judging any of them.

• Encourage them: “Let’s think of at least three things we could do to solve this problem.”

5. Build win-win solutions

Help children sort through the list of options you have come up with together and choose those that appear to meet everybody’s needs. Sometimes a combination of the options they have thought of will work best. Together, you can help them build a solution that everyone agrees to.

• Ask: Which solution do you think can work? Which option can we make work together?

6. Put the solution into action and see how it works

Make sure that children understand what they have agreed to and what this means in practice.

• Say, “Okay, so this is what we’ve agreed. Tom, you’re going to show Wendy how to play the game, then Wendy, you’re going to have a try, and I’m going to let you know when 15 minutes is up.”

Key points for helping children resolve conflict

The ways that adults respond to children’s conflicts have powerful effects on their behaviour and skill development. Until they have developed their own skills for managing conflict effectively most children will need very specific adult guidance to help them reach a good resolution. Parents, carers and teaching staff can help children in sorting out conflict together, by seeing conflict as a shared problem that can be solved by understanding both points of view and finding a solution that everyone is happy with.

Guide and coach

When adults impose a solution on children it may solve the conflict in the short term, but it can leave children feeling that their wishes have not been taken into account. Coaching children through the conflict resolution steps helps them feel involved. It shows them how effective conflict resolution can work so that they can start to build their own skills.

Listen to all sides without judging

To learn the skills for effective conflict resolution children need to be able to acknowledge their own point of view and listen to others’ views without fearing that they will be blamed or judged. Being heard encourages children to hear and understand what others have to say and how they feel, and helps them to learn to value others.

Support children to work through strong feelings

Conflict often generates strong feelings such as anger or anxiety. These feelings can get in the way of being able to think through conflicts fairly and reasonably. Acknowledge children’s feelings and help them to manage them. It may be necessary to help children calm down before trying to resolve the conflict.

Remember

• Praise children for finding a solution and carrying it out.
• If an agreed solution doesn’t work out the first time, go through the steps again to understand the needs and concerns and find a different solution.

The information in this resource is based on Wertheim, E., Love, A., Peck, C. & Littlefield, L. (2006). Skills for resolving conflict (2nd Edition). Melbourne: Eruditions Publishing.

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